A Brave Mother's Day
by bStormhands
Summary: A Mother's Day drabble.


Elinor saw Merida sitting on her bed. Today was a rest day. She thought it was unusual for her daughter to just be sitting like that, she was usually much more active. Then she noticed that all the weapons were put away nicely.

Elinor went in, put her crown on the side table next to her daughter's and sat next to her daughter. "Are you alright, dear?"

"Mum, I am the worst princess, the worst person, ever." said Merida not looking up at her mother.

"I doubt that, but you are the first princess we've had so we're going to have to work out some things."

"I'm not stupid mum. I knew that you've been pushing me toward becoming queen and getting married to one of the clan lord's sons. I even knew that there would be a war if I refused the marriage. I used that loophole in the rules of the Games to try and find a way out everyone could agree to. But I didn't care. I didn't want to be forced into something I didn't want to do. I knew it was wrong and I did it anyway just to spite you. I don't know why I fought you so hard. I know now that you care so very deeply about me. I'm sorry."

"You are very stubborn, just like your father and I. You did much worse things to your haggis then Hamish does."

"Harris." Merida corrected.

"Him too." Elinor winked.

"Why do you love me, mum?" begged Merida, digging her toe into the floor a little because she was so embarrassed as to have to ask something so obvious.

"I'm your mother and I really do love you." answered Elinor.

"But I did such terrible things to you."

"Yes. Yes, you did, but I did terrible things to you too. I want the best for you so much. But I forgot who you are. You aren't me. I'm sorry that it took an adventure to remember that."

"I know, so am I. I tried to take away from you the one thing I so desperately wanted." said Merida.

"I know. I do love you so much. I had to give up so much to be the queen our kingdom needed. Giving up my family would have been too much."

Merida hugged her close.

"I was willing to give my life to protect you. That's why I ran. When they captured me and Fergus was standing over me. I knew he couldn't tell it was me. I wanted to tell him I forgave him, but I couldn't. There were no words I could make."

Elinor put her hands around Merida's shoulders and hair and held her close as her eyes filled with love for her daughter. "I was hoping that I would not transform back. That would have destroyed him and the kingdom with it. I knew you were strong enough not to tell him. I was ...hoping that he ...would make me ...into a rug ...so I could, at least ...keep you ...warm."

Merida was sobbing into her mum's bosom, as she felt tears drip into her hair. "I love you, mummy. I'm so sorry. I love you. I'm sorry. I'll always love you."

"I know my wee darling. I know." Merida felt kisses on her head.

Merida smiled a little, then sobered again. "Mum. Why did you stop me?"

"Stop you from what?"

"Marrying Wee Dingwall. I would have done it. It was the right thing to do. I was hoping I could learn to love him like you and Da love each other."

Elinor rose, closed the door and sat on the bed again. Merida's insides twisted up. The look on Mum's face. Mum was going to tell her something awful.

"I broke tradition because marrying Wee Dingwall would probably destroy the kingdom if anything happened to you. Having the boys almost killed me. You surprised me with that offer. I wasn't expecting that. That was very selfless of you. I am so proud of you for that. But I also am pretty sure he would be bad for the kingdom. Wee is just not very bright."

Merida looked up and nodded sadly, then looked down again.

"I did that not just for your sake but the sake of the kingdom. I've seen enough unequal marriages like that, that both of you would be terribly unhappy and as bad as that is for a family and a community it would effect the entire kingdom for the worse. I am pretty sure that if you find love you will find someone up to your quality."

Merida looked up, confused. She didn't think she was worth anything just then. "My quality?"

"The very finest."

Tears came to Merida's eyes. She could not believe that. She shook her head and turned away from her mother.

"I know you don't feel that way. You turned me into a bear. But I did terrible things to you, Merida. I boxed you in so hard, you were like a trapped animal attacking everyone and everything. I'm sorry. I wanted the best for you but I didn't let you be yourself. We were both trapped. I lost myself to the crown."

Elinor's eyes flicked to the gold and jeweled device on the side table. "And I tried to make you give up yourself to your crown and the kingdom. I didn't let you be yourself. I tried to force you to be a certain way. You want to be queen and that is enough. You need to find your own way to be a queen." Elinor held out her arms and Merida came into the proffered hug.

"Thank you mum." said Merida quietly, still feeling bad. "Mum, is finding my own way like how you were so okay with being a bear."

"I am not sure. I had lost myself so much to the crown that being in a bear body wasn't all that important to me." Elinor shivered at that thought.

"Mum, I'm so sorry for changing you into a bear. I didn't want that, I just wanted you changed so I wouldn't have to marry one of the suitors. I wanted to be free, but I tried to take away your freedom to do it. But that was so wrong too, even worse then turning you into a bear. I hate myself because I tried to take away from you the one thing I most desperately wanted." Merida put her face in her hands.

Elinor put her hand on her daughter's back.

Merida continued. "But I was hating myself before then. I felt that I was out of choices. That I had no freedom at all. That I was trapped and cornered and there was no way out. I couldn't do anything right at all. 'A princess should strive for perfection' and I felt so far from perfect that I wasn't worth anything. You kept telling me to be cautious but I did so many reckless things, not to hurt you but because I didn't care about my own life. If I happened to die, I wouldn't mind. I'm sorry. I might be free now, but it just hurts another way now. Mum, can't I do anything right?" asked Merida.

Elinor hugged her daughter close, "Yes, you can. I loved me enough to break the spell. That was the most important thing. You also choose to become a queen on your own terms, for which I am proud of you. You could have just run away. It means a lot. You are a good girl and worthy of love."

"Thank you mum. You really are always there for me." said Merida hugging her mum back.

"I try. I really do. Come, it's almost lunchtime. Let's stuff our gobs." Said Elinor, prompting a small smile from Merida.


End file.
